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Thursday, February 16, 2023

This is Why Men Sleep off After Having Sex.

Almost everywhere in the world, there is a general occurrence in the bedroom where men doze off after having intimate moments with their partners. The scenario is painted with the man happily snoring in fulfillment. At the same time, the woman stays awake, often in disappointment and disgust for her sleeping partner.

Reasons why men sleep off after sex
Man snoring after sex with partner watching

While this does not happen with every man, it is at least significant to understand why it happens and the science behind it. Interestingly, the science behind this act has been observed and studied over the years. Oxytocin, prolactin, and sometimes melatonin have all been indicated to contribute to this bedroom disaster.

Sleeping off after sex for most men is but a sexual response, not something that calls for concern. Understanding this can happen is the first step towards navigating through an unfulfilling sexual experience. This first step will help couples to better manage their energy and expectation. It is also a foundation on which intimacy can be built.

Therefore, in this article, we will go into detail to explain the many reasons why men sleep off after having sex. We will also proffer solutions on how it can be stopped or managed so that better bonding can happen between you and your partner.

Understanding The Male Sexual Response Cycle.

The male sexual response cycle involves a series of emotional and physical changes when men engage in sexual activity. It typically consists of 4 phases ranging from libido to resolution.

The four phases of the male sexual response cycle are.

  • Excitement
  • Plateau
  • Orgasm
  • Resolution

It is important to note that both men and women can experience one or all of these response phases, although the timing and pattern may differ. Additionally, the response sequence and intensity may differ from person to person and from gender to gender. Understanding the characteristics and inherent differences between these phases can help couples improve their bedroom game and unravel the mystery behind the man sleeping off after sex.

Phase 1- Excitement

Excitement, also referred to as arousal, is the first phase in the male’s sexual response cycle. Arousal can be a response to thoughts, sensations or similar events around a person. Some notable triggers are kissing, thinking about a sexual fantasy, or viewing pornography.

During the excitement phase, the man may experience the following

  • ·      Increased heart rate and blood pressure
  • ·      Increased blood flow to the genitals
  • ·      A penile erection
  • ·      Enlargement of the testes and tightening of the scrotal sac
  • ·      Increased muscle tension and sensitivity to touch

Phase II – Plateau

With continued excitement, as listed in the first phase, a man can proceed to the second phase, which is the plateau. Heart rate, blood flow to the genitals, erection, muscle sensitivity, and all significant characteristics of the first phase are remarkably enhanced.

There is also a possibility of releasing pre-seminal fluid (also called pre-cum) from the penis. This phase quickly comes to an end when orgasm happens.

Phase III- Orgasm

Orgasm is said to occur when a person reaches the peak of their sexual excitement. Often referred to as “climax,” this phase is reached when a person gets stimulated after the plateau phase. A feeling of euphoria, a release of tension, and involuntary muscle contractions characterize this phase.

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There is a contraction of the penile muscles, which leads to the release of semen from the urethra. The brain releases a hormone called Oxytocin at this point. This hormone is responsible for the good feelings associated with orgasm and for forming social bonds post-orgasm. The brain also releases dopamine which leads to a state of relaxation after this phase.

Phase IV – Resolution

This is a reset-to-factory-setting phase. Here, the body begins to adjust to the state it was in before arousal. Heart rate and blood pressure start returning to normal, same with muscle tension. Notably, the penis may start becoming flaccid, and the man may not respond to sexual stimuli till after some time.

The period after orgasm when the body is not responsive to sexual stimuli is called the refractory period. It varies in individuals depending on age, frequency of intercourse, and intimacy with the partner.


Three Reasons Why Men sleep Off After Sex.

Having understood the different phases of the male sexual response cycle, it is time to delve fully into why men sleep off after sex. They include;

1.    Hormonal causes

During (and after) a sexual activity, both men and women experience hormonal changes in their bodies. For men, some of these changes contribute to why sleeping off after sex has become a norm.

hormonal changes that lead men to sleep after sex
Pictorial representation of the brain secreting hormones

During the excitement phase, the body releases hormones such as dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins. Oxytocin (also called “cuddle hormone”) plays a role in bonding between partners. It also promotes calmness and relaxation.

Dopamine is a particular hormone involved in the brain’s reward system. Its release here contributes to the general feeling of satisfaction and pleasure gained during sexual activity. However, upon climaxing, the brain levels of dopamine begin to reduce and can subsequently lead to tiredness, fatigue, and subsequent sleepiness that men often experience.

Another hormone, prolactin, is also released during sexual activity. Prolactin also called the “satisfaction hormone,” helps regulate the body’s satisfaction. But when released at high levels, it can lead to tiredness and drowsiness, often seen after the peak of bedroom activity.

Generally, it is worth noting that these hormonal changes experienced in men during sexual activity contribute significantly to why they sleep off after. Similarly, not every man gets to experience this sleepiness. It is also important to note that other factors (which are discussed below) asides from hormonal factors can also play a role here.

2.    Physical Exhaustion

You know when they say “harder, harder,” and you indeed go harder because you are the man? Yeah, that’s when you are putting in some serious work that can cause exhaustion when you reach your climax.

physical exhaustion after sexual activity
Physical exhaustion after "harder harder"😎

Your body undergoes some changes, such as increased heart rate/blood pressure, muscle contraction, and respiratory rate. These and more can be strenuous on your body, which can cause fatigue eventually. Men feel the resultant tiredness at the resolution phase (Phase IV). When this phase extends deeply into the refractory period, it is not uncommon to find the man dozing off.

3.    Psychological Causes

Sometimes, a man’s emotional connection with his partner can influence his behavior after orgasm. For example, when there is a deep-rooted and mutual love between the partners, the man can have an unusual feeling of satisfaction and comfort upon reaching the climax. A profoundly intimate connection like this can make the man sleep off.

Also, if sexual activity has become some nighttime routine, it is not uncommon to find out that your body may become conditioned to attribute sleep as the next activity afterward. The more this is practiced, the more likely it becomes to pick up the habit of sleeping off after sex.

That said, it is essential to know that it is purely natural to fall asleep after sex, both for men and women. However, if the behavior is hurting your sexual life and affecting your intimacy with your partner, you have to take steps toward curbing it.

Steps To Take to Avoid Falling Asleep After Sex.

If you truly desire to stay awake after sex and bond with your partner, you must take a few steps to ensure it happens. They include

i.               Take a cold shower after sex.

Remember Uni or high school days when you are preparing for exams at night but feel sleepy? What do you do? Well, most people take a cold shower or wash their face with cold water. This helps a great deal in keeping you awake because the shock your body gets from the cold water helps to release a hormone called adrenaline. This hormone helps the body in the “fight or flight” response, keeping you alert.

Washing face after bedroom activity
Man washing his face to stay awake.

On a similar note, taking a cold shower after sex or at least washing the face with cold water can help keep you awake. It will buy you enough time to bond with your partner and decide what the next course of action would be, either to go again or sleep peacefully in each other’s arms.

ii.             Engage in an activity that will keep you awake.

Engaging in an activity that can stimulate you, such as playing a game, a puzzle, or even reading an exciting book, makes it easy for you to stay awake after sex. When enough stimulation happens, the brain releases hormones such as norepinephrine that can make you more alert.

Playing an intense video game or watching an action-packed movie can be particularly helpful here. If your chosen activity does not interest you, it may bore you and cause you to sleep. This is because you need to engage in an activity that is interesting to you and is capable of keeping you awake.

iii.           Move around and avoid lying down.

Moving around after sex can help you remain awake. If you have the liberty of time and space, you can walk around or even do a few push-ups. This is because the activity helps stimulate you by maximally increasing your blood flow. Try also not to do much because if you get severely stimulated, it may eventually interfere with your sleep if you need them.

Avoid laying down immediately after sex, especially if you have a habit of sleeping off and genuinely wish to stop it. When you lie down, you generally feel relaxed, and the release of happy hormones, which characterize the end of sexual activity, plus your posture, can easily send you to sleep.

Make sure also that your room is conducive enough to support wakefulness. Leave the light on and the windows open for fresh air. These tips and the ones above can help you rekindle the burning light in your bedroom and not leave you or your partner frustrated at the end of it all.

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